 | ||||||
| ||||||
Quotes By Jay Leno
Tommy James was in a New York hotel looking at the Mutual of New York building’s neon sign flashing repeatedly: M-O-N-Y. He suddenly got the inspiration to write his #1 hit, 'Mony Mony'
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. -- Jay Leno
"In business news, chocolate maker nestle is buying Jenny Craig. Well, that says it all you need to know about the war on obesity, doesn't it? It's over! Apparently we surrendered!"
"Is this a bad idea? The folks at Sprint announced it is developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on
your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine Dead in Interstate Pileup.'"
"Al Gore's movie about global warming broke into the top 10 this past week. President Bush has said he probably will
not see the film. Though he says he did go see 'Ice Age 2: The Meltdown'. So he feels he has most of his facts down."
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.
"The White House is mad at the New York Times because they broke the story that the White House is secretly tracking
our banking transactions. They're looking out for when people suddenly withdraw large amounts of cash. You know, either terrorists or people who need to fill up their SUV."
"It is now possible to protest in front of the White House by hiring a stand in. I am not making this up. You email this company on what issue you are mad about and they provide you with a sign and your own personalized protester to stand in front of the White House. Now how lazy is this generation? Isn't that the ultimate irony, you send somebody in your place to picket against cloning?"
"Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy for president of the United States, called Barack Obama the first mainstream African-American who is articulate, bright, and . . . clean. I think we’ve seen the shortest presidential campaign in history."
"According to the British Journal of Psychiatry, marijuana can cause panic attacks. I don’t know . . . The only time I have ever seen a marijuana user look panicky is when they are out of marijuana."
"Have you been following the story of this female astro-nut? She drove 900 miles from Houston Texas to Orlando, Fla., to confront the woman who was her romantic rival. She drove the whole time wearing a diaper so she didn’t have to stop and pee. Of course, people capitalize on these things . . . have you seen these? Huggies with the "Astronaut fit?”"
"Congratulations to Vice President Al Gore. He has been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. Luckily for Gore, Florida doesn’t vote on this one."
According to the Taliban, Osama bin Laden is alive. But they said if he dies, he'd now like to be buried in the Bahamas.
The music industry is stumped by the huge drop in sales of rap music.
Sales of rap music down 21 percent this past year. A lot of rappers have had to cut back on their lifestyle. A lot of rappers getting rid of the gold teeth. They're going with aluminum siding, it's cheaper.
|
