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Q: Why does a ferret get frustrated if you spray Bitter Apple on your feet or put on shoes to thwart him?
A: Ferrets are lack-toes intolerant.
Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash?
A: Evidence.
Q: How many ferrets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The correct question is, how many lightbulbs does it take. You must try to retrieve your lightbulbs from behind the couch faster than the ferret can hide them.
Q: How do you drive a ferret crazy?
A: Give him a round litter pan.
Q: What is a ferret's favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl...
Q: Which is preferable for a sable colored ferret to have, a pink nose or a dark nose?
A: Makes no difference, they both smell the same. :)
Q: How do you keep a ferret from smelling?
A: Wash the bedding, give him infrequent baths with mild ferret shampoo, have a gib instead of a hob, feed a good diet, don't startle him... (What, you really expected me to say "give him a cold" ?! >;-)
Q: What do pretzels, CDs, underwear, and human arms have in common?
A: The containers that hold them are a good place for a nap.
Q: Why do ferrets do the Weasel War Dance?
A: A long time ago, the Creator said "I'd better put aside these Mexican jumping beans while the larvae develop, and work on another species." But the Creator's place was not ferretproofed. His pet ferret prototype saw the beans and thought they were raisins. He was so happy to eat so many treats at once, and at the same time the beans started jumping. Like Pavlov's dogs, the happiness and the bouncing became associated. To this day, you can see how the beans are jumping when your own ferret is happy.
Q: Why aren't ferrets legal in some states?
A: When legislators visited a pet store, they saw ferrets wrestling and hear people saying, "See, they're no good!" and leave thinking that these are not appropriate pets. In reality, if they'd stayed to listen closely, they would have realized that the pet store employees have been answering customers' questions, "Cedar? No good!"
Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Thousands. First they have to write to their representatives, educate others, obtain support, etc. then have a bill proposal pass through various committees before the government will allow the bulb to be changed.
Q: Why do ferrets sleep so soundly?
A: So that people in ferret-unfriendly areas can go outside looking like they're wearing a stole, and safely transport their fuzzies to the vet.
Q: Why is it ironic that ferret people try harder to get the lightbulb changed than does the bureacracy?
A: The ferret people are working by the light at the end of the tunnel, while the bureacracy cannot see the light.
Q: Who is a ferret's favorite government persona?
A: Socks.
Q: Who is a ferret's favorite (least favorite??) president?
A: John Fitchgerald Kennedy.
Q: Who is a ferret's favorite (least favorite??) singer?
A: Ella Fitchgerald.
Q: Queen Elizabeth bred albino ferrets. So what do you call it when Prince Andrew's ferret does the war dance?
A: The Dook of York.
Q: What do Muhammed Ali and Bandit the Ferret have in common?
A: They both know how to duke it out.
Q: Fuzzies favor fashions by which designer?
A: Alberta Ferretti.
Q: Which ferret's influence can be seen in The New Republic?
A: Leon Weaseltier's.
Q: Who is a mustelid's favorite composer?
A: Ferretric Chopin.
Q: Who is a ferret's favorite band?
A: The Ferretones.
Q: Which ferret became an author of stories set in WWII and after?
A: Elie Weasel.
Q: Which high-kicking mustelid won the Gold in Tae Kwon Do at the '92 Olympic Games?
A: Herb Ferretz.
Q: But isn't that the Zionist prime minister?
A: No, that's Shimon Ferretz.
Q: Oh-- isn't that another guy on the staff of The New Republic?
A: No, that's Martin Ferretzs.
Q: You are sleepy one morning and unintentionally fill your ferret's water bottle with Linatone. Your ferret: a) eats the Linatone and gets ill b) eats some Linatone but then acts thirsty c) concludes, "NOW the human has finally learned the trick I've been trying to teach it!!"
Q: What do you call that thing that--
A: Ferret toy.
Ferret Jokes
Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.
~George Bernard Shaw
A skunk will not bite and throw its scent at the same time.
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