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Heh, I can see each little ferret taking an oath before it leaves it's mother.
I hereby uphold the following:
If there is something on the floor, I will climb under it, or dig until I'm underneath it.
If there is something that is not on the floor, I will put it there and then climb under it.
I will leave no stone unturned, no tunnel un-crawled, no plant un-digged, no glass un-tipped, no keyboard unmolested, and no puddle un-snorkeled in.
If it can be carried, I will steal it. If it can't be carried, I will at least knock it over and claim it as 'mine.'
Humans have been created for my entertainment. A cold nose to the back of the knee is an effective way to get my human's attention. All else failing, nipping my human's toes will make an impression and should be done as often as possible.
The bathtub is my greatest enemy unless the human doesn't want me in it. Same goes for the brush, the nail-clippers, and the q-tips. If I was meant to be clean, I wouldn't have been born a ferret.
I will always poop in the litterbox, unless I feel like going next to it, or on the edge of it, or I just can't be bothered to jump into the litterbox, or I'm playing and the rice box is more convenient. And I will make a point to scoot my butt across the floor when I'm done, just so my human appreciates toilet paper all the more.
And above all, I will be cuter than cute, so that even when I engage in all of the above, my human will be forced to adore me and cater to my every whim.
I swear to uphold all of the above or I will rescind my membership in the Union of Ferrets and turn myself in to the nearest shelter for rehabilitation, so help me ... ooh, something shiny!!!!!
written by Megan, with help from Raiden, Link, Samus, and Yoshi
The Ferret Oath
Intelligence in the cat is underrated.
--Louis Wain
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
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